Now I understand.

Oh hey blog, long time no see.

Sorry everybody. Tessa seems determined to make sure to cry every time I sit down to blog. This is attempt number 5 today :)

My parents have a baby video of me that I used to love to watch when I was living at home. There are a couple of things in there that I really didn't understand; even laughed at because I thought it was silly.

My mom and dad decided to videotape the night they put me in my crib for the very first time. My mom, through tears, kept asking, "Do you think she'll be alright?" And my dad, crying as well behind the camera, kept reassuring her. I'd watch that and always think to myself, "Gosh you guys, you're only putting me in the other room. What's the big deal?" A week or so ago we put Tessa in her crib for the very first time. Now I completely understand. Even though she was just in the room next to us, she felt so far away... too far. I have to admit her first night she didn't stay in the crib very long. I gave the excuse that I didn't want to have to get out of bed to feed her but really I just needed her closer. Brady still likes to check on her a couple times during the night, so I guess it's not just me.

Another little video is of me sitting on the floor playing with toys. My dad had taken the day off and they both just sat on the floor watching me play for hours. I couldn't believe that they were able to do that so long. A few days ago Brady and I sat on the floor and just played with Tessa. I felt like I could just sit there and watch her for hours. Now I understand what they meant when they told me having me was like having a first baby all over again. You just can't get enough.

Finally, while I was living at home my mom would always come in to my room at night to watch me sleep. I'd always tell her it was weird and that she didn't need to check on me any more because I was all grown up. She'd always reply by saying something like, "I can't help it... I'm your mom." Yesterday and today I caught myself watching Tessa while she napped. I went in there quite a few times. I can't really explain why I kept going in there. I guess I just couldn't help it... I'm her mom.

In celebration of my parents I've added our video of putting Tessa in her crib for the first time. She smiles so look REALLY closely and you'll catch it:

Mom and Dad, now I understand :)