Countdown to Motherhood Guest post: Marie Henry (Older Sister)

(From left to right" Aubrey, Parker, Kash, Marie holding Matilda, 

Kash's nephew, Ashley and Lizzy)

I am a mother of 5 children. My four oldest are from my first marriage of 12 years and the fifth is with my husband Kash.

I have had two very different experiences with being a mother, having had two marriages.

With my first husband it wasn't at all what I thought it would be. I knew I always wanted to be a mother, so I wondered what was wrong with me and why I didn’t like it so much. I hated admitting that to myself, as it made me feel like a bad mother but the truth is, at the time, I didn’t.

Of course there were many sweet moments and memories but in the end, I would go to bed stressed and angry and wake up still stressed and angry. Partially because of the normal stresses that come with being a mom of small children but also because of a hard marriage.

Overall though, Heavenly Father really blessed my children as i prayed daily he would watch out for them and protect them from my mistakes. They are great children!!!!

Now that I am married to Kash, I have absolutely loved being a mother. 

I often wonder what it would have been like in the early years of parenting if I was married to Kash but of course I will never know.

Not being in a stressful marriage has made being a parent soooo different. I now can deal with just being a mom and Kash and I work well together. He is a great parent and is always calm so that is a big help. 

I have learned two major things with being a mom.

One is to be consistent.

I know that is something we have all heard a million times but oh my goodness it makes a difference.

In my first marriage, being tired and emotionally stressed made it easy to just give in. That caused a lot of unnecessary heartache for my kids and me.

Kash is 100% consistent and man that has made a difference in our home. Now our kids know the rules and that they will not change. We rarely have issues and when we do there are already consequences in place.

Number two is to pick your battles.

I for one hate dirty bedrooms. I want to be able to go into my kids room at night and check on them and not break my ankle do to the hazardous terrain. So that is a battle I do fight.

One battle I am not willing to fight is what my kids pick to wear. 

There are a few rules but besides that it is up to them. They get to go out the door not matching if they like and believe me they do ALL THE TIME. I do teach them how to put things together so when they decide it’s important they know what to do.

My son is the worst; in fact, this morning he picked shorts and a long sleeve shirt. I just walked out of his room giggling. I figure my children don't get much control over their lives right now so I want to give them a few things they can control.

Parenting has so many different stages depending on the age of your kids. 

I have learned it gets better with time and frankly, I get better as I age. 

Right now things are pretty calm for us. We have an almost 13 year old, 10, 8, 4 and 8 months. The three oldest are very helpful with the two youngest and they actually love helping. 

It is so different now then from when I had three 4 and under. We will see how it is when we have three teenage girls at the same time. It will help having a level headed husband who is a quick thinker and, like I said before, calm.

I am so very grateful for all the experiences I have had and for the changes that have come into my life so I can better enjoy being a mother!