Today is...

OCTOBER 25th

My original due date. 

Bummer.

Role model

Well, we made it to week 38. Good job us!

(No, this is not our baby :) This is my niece, Mary, the day before my wedding... but very soon we'll be able to take a picture exactly like this with OUR baby. 

Gosh, nothing's ever sounded sweeter. )  

Baby girl has a new favorite game she likes to play during the day. It's her own little version of London Bridge, in other words, lets see how long it takes to make mom fall down. True story. She's sitting so low these days, that her little head bumps all the nerves in my lower back and between my legs. I'm starting to have to walk next to the walls so I have something to hold myself up when my legs give out, which they do on a regular basis because of little girl. I'm choosing to look for the "silver lining" in this situation and decided that it's just her way of saying, "I'm still here mom and I'm one nerve closer to making my grand entrance." Pretty great, huh? We'll see how well that silver lining holds up when I actually find myself on the floor.

I've been thinking a lot about role models lately. I feel that when you're about to have your first child or even a new child, for that matter, there comes a time when you ask yourself if you're enough, not the,"am I going to be a good parent?" kind of enough (although we ask ourselves that, too) but the, "Where I am, right now in my life, am I the kind of person I want my child to emulate?" kind of enough. I feel like this feeling has been enhanced even more because I'm about to have a little girl.

Please understand this isn't me bashing on Kate, this is me wondering if I, myself,  have developed the things that I want my daughter to develop. I'm not just talking about my behaviors and habits, I'm talking about my deeply rooted inner beliefs about myself. It kind of causes you to do a personal inventory. To ask questions like, "Do I truly believe that I'm valuable?" or "Do I believe that I have something special to offer to the world?" or "Do I believe I can do hard things?" The reason it's important to ask these kind of questions is because I believe you can't teach someone something you don't already know yourself. It almost seems hypocritical to tell my daughter to think she's beautiful and then turn around and look at myself in the mirror and not like what I see. It sends a really confusing message.

In order to help her feel deep inner worth, I need to model a feeling of deep inner worth, and in order to model that worth, I need to first feel it within myself.

I understand thinking like this can be overwhelming and sometimes seem like it's too late, especially if you already have a handful of kids and especially if those kids are older, but "It's never too late to be who you might have been." No matter our present state, as we begin to change, I believe, our daughters will notice and begin to change themselves as well.

I'm not trying to sound like I know it all or like I have it all figured out. I'm just trying to become the best role model I can for my children, especially my little girls... one day...one minute...one second at a time.

Well, it's still here

The baby bump is still around. Last night was an, I guess you could call it... interesting (?) night for our little family. I was seriously expecting my next post to be an "Introducing our baby girl" post. I started having "contractions" (I'm still trying to figure out exactly how to tell the difference between real and not-so-real-but really-feel-like-they're-real contractions) at about 10 a.m. yesterday morning. After bombarding my poor sister with a million texts asking a million questions about Braxton Hicks and false labor vs. real labor, I just decided to wait it out and see.

They weren't increasing in intensity and frequency but they weren't going away like they normally did either (trust me, I tried walking, laying on my left side, a bath, and I drank lots and LOTS of water). After about four and a half hours of that (still feeling contractions but not really knowing if they were "real" contractions) I decided to let Brady know, better safe than sorry, right? I just didn't think my next door neighbors would appreciate delivering my child because I had waited too long to tell my husband.

At about 10:20 p.m. they definitely started getting worse (I had to actually take deep breaths through each one) and they started coming pretty consistently. My midwife had told me, when I called earlier that evening, to take a hot shower and get some rest because if it was the real thing, it wasn't like I was going to sleep through it and miss the party. I decided to take her word for it and get some sleep. By that time, Brady didn't think any of it meant the real thing, and, if I'm being honest with myself, I didn't either. Secretly, I was hoping that I would wake up in the middle of the night and things would really start happening; that all the anticipation and uncomfortableness (if that isn't really a word, I just made it one) wouldn't be for nothing.

At about 1:30 a.m. I woke up with a lot of pain in my lower back and lower abdomen, the next hour or so wasn't very fun for Brady and I. Then 3 o'clock rolls around and those pesky, painful contractions (if that's even what they really were) just... stopped. All day long, at the end really painful and then they just stop.

I guess baby girl just got cold feet?

In all honesty, I think I just didn't want to let myself believe it wasn't really happening and until I let it go and told myself to stop looking for signs that it was really happening, the contractions just gradually went away. Do I think you can really will your contractions away? No. Do I think you can build it up in your mind because you've been pregnant for almost nine months and really want to hold your baby girl for the first time? Definitely.

So, today I'm still sporting my not so little baby bump and a really sore lower back/ lower abdomen. If you're curious, I'm occasionally getting ache cramps in both my back and my abdomen but until I can't talk or Brady has to carry me out to the car because it's so painful, I'm not getting my hopes up.

On the bright side, Brady was a champ! He cleaned the house, tolerated my many middle of the night strolls around the bedroom, massaged my lower back at two in the morning and went grocery shopping so I wouldn't have to. Like I said, champ!

They finally came

Well, everyone we finally made it to "full" term! 37 weeks today and my stomach still seems to be growing by the minute. Baby girl and I celebrated by taking a nap:)

On the agenda for tonight's F.H.E (family home evening): pack hospital bag and diaper bag, create birth plan, and put baby girl's comfy new stroller in the car. I have to admit, it'll feel a little weird driving around with an empty car seat for awhile.

 I've had a couple of you ask about our nursery. Last weekend kind of felt like Christmas morning at our house because baby girl's car seat/stroller and nursery furniture finally arrived.

Brady made us lug that car seat out to our car to make sure it'd fit before I got too attached to it. I have to admit, it was pretty adorable watching him try and decide the best place for it to go and watch him try and figure out how to strap it in.

 Hopefully, very few of you remember the state of my nursery when I wrote this post. All I can say is, I was glad to have such a handy man when we tried to put that furniture together. "Some" assembly required my foot!

We were a great team! Brady was the head assembler and I was assistant assembler (mainly I just watched and occasionally handed him a screw or two). Have you ever seen the directions for nursery furniture? They only use pictures, no words. That can get really confusing when all the pieces look EXACTLY the same. Luckily, Brady didn't have a hard time because of all the mad skills he acquired from his lego building days (those instructions only use pictures as well).

Shall we do a before and after picture of our new and improved nursery? I think we shall!
Before...

 And after!

Tada! Hey, you can actually see the color of the carpet now. How nice.

I walked into the nursery the other day to find this little quilt spread out over the mattress. Brady had laid it out so it'd be ready for baby girls arrival, which I thought was REALLY cute :) Daddy is so ready for her to be here, he can't hardly stand it.

So there you are. The walls are bare and there is still a pile of stuff in the corner, conveniently placed behind the door so it can't be seen in these pictures, but we're getting close.

Brady also requested that I play a little game with my "avid" readers. We'll call it "Guess when baby girl will be born"! I wish I could offer the winner $50 dollars or something cool like that, but all I can give you is the title of winner and maybe, if I'm feeling really crazy, I'll buy you your favorite candy bar.

So post your guess in the comment section below and we'll see which  one of you will win that awesome title "WINNER" and get the candy bar of your choice. Ready go!

Itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny

36 weeks today everybody!

You know what that means. One more week until it's safe for her to come at any time and four more weeks until my due date. Gosh that kind of freaks me out...

Today was laundry day!

Luckily, Brady and I really didn't have any clothes that needed washed (how did that happen?) so I was able to get a move on getting baby girl's clothes cleaned and ready for her arrival.

When we lived in Utah I would occasionally find random toddler socks (property of Mary or Jack, our niece and nephew) when I was folding our laundry; it's still a mystery to me how they got there. Finding those teeny-tiny socks was always really hard for me because they were never MY baby's socks (this happened before I was pregnant and I still had a long way to go to actually getting pregnant).

Today, however, was a very special day because my laundry basket was full of baby clothes!
Baby clothes that were supposed to be there...
That didn't just end up there by mistake.
Baby clothes that were for MY baby.

Huzzah!

You're welcome to remind me about how excited I was to do her laundry five years from now when I post how sick I am of having to wash my kids clothes all the time  :)

To celebrate I thought I'd show you just how adorable some of these things are. Here's the little outfit we're planing on taking her home in.

Let's take a closer look at those adorable little pants!

I don't know what it is, but I'm obsessed with baby legs and bottoms and the little pants that they come in. Is there anything cuter?

To get an idea just how itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny these things are, I took a picture of baby girl's little sock right next to her daddy's.

Can you believe how small we are when we're first born? I still can't get over it! And in a couple of weeks I'll get to compare their actual feet...

That makes me one excited mama!

Hey! Where'd my feet go?!

35 weeks today!

Baby girl and I decided to celebrate by spending a day at the park, just the two of us. I’m convinced Seattle is giving our little family a special treat because the weather here has been unbelievably amazing. Apparently it isn’t very Seattle-like for the end of September/beginning of October. You better believe we’re soaking in as much of it as we possibly can!

Two more weeks until baby girl is considered full term.

Five more weeks until my due date (Nov. 5^th).

Six more weeks until I’m 41 weeks pregnant.

(I added that last one just in case she decides to come a little later than expected)

Here is my attempt at a “do it yourself” pregnancy shot, which is a lot harder than I thought. After the fifth try you just kind of have to get creative.

If any of you reading this have experienced pregnancy, you can relate to how confusing and frustrating the last month can be. The warning signs for preterm labor and the regular pregnancy aches and pains are almost exactly the same, minus the blood. Contractions can mean a lot of different things and you have to try and tell the difference between false labor and actual labor. 

False labor?! Come on guys. That shouldn't even exist.

Last night it all really got to me and I had my first MAJOR pregnancy breakdown… poor Brady. For the most part this pregnancy hasn’t seemed long at all and I’ve handled it well (or so Brady tells me) but sometimes not being able to reach your feet to put on shoes or having to have your husband roll you out of bed because you can’t get up yourself just gets to you. Sometimes you feel REALLY big or sometimes it just plain hurts and you need to cry.

Lucky for me I have a husband who is willing to hold me tight and bring me tissues.

Lucky for me I have two sisters who have recently been through this and can help. 

Lucky for me I was able to get pregnant without a problem.

Lucky for me my body is growing a strong, healthy baby girl.

Yes…

Lucky for me there are plenty of things to be grateful for.

The end is in sight and baby girl and I are going to make it!

The time I almost went into labor because of a car, a big city, and LOTS of road signs

(Gosh, this picture stresses me out! Does it do that for you? ) 

Today was Brady's first day in his new lab. He's been trying to set up a time to go in all week (which has been a little difficult) so it was really important for him to be there today. Fifteen minutes after I kissed him goodbye I get a call. He got a little confused with the bus route and missed the bus he was supposed to take. He couldn't wait for the next one to come because it would have made him really late for work, so that meant, you guessed it, he needed a ride...

From me.   In Seattle.   All the way downtown.
Which would also mean I'd need to drive back.   In Seattle.   From all the way downtown.    Alone.

If you know me well, you know I've always hated driving. It took me seven months to get up the courage to drive on the freeway after I got my license. Luckily, I lived in Salt Lake City for so long that I got used to the roads and was able to tolerate it.

But driving around the University of Washington is a different story. Cars on top of cars, tight streets, random twists and turns, a million people, and, of course, you've got your university students who like to pop out of nowhere to cross the road. It's so bad that I can't even relax when someone else is driving.

Yes, that jumbled mess was where we were headed.

I picked him up from the bus stop and a couple of angry drivers and irritated honks later (did I mention I'm also not the best driver?) I finally dropped him off at school.

Brady had to think for a moment what the easiest way for me to get home would be. He repeated the directions not once, not twice but three times. You think even with a forgetful pregnancy brain I'd be able to remember directions repeated that many times in a row.

"Sounds easy enough," I thought and while driving away I repeated them back to myself.

"Let's see. I turn left on Mont...Mont... something. And then I turn left on 45th... or was it right on 45th? And that's supposed to split and I'm supposed to stay on the road that curves and that road is supposed to take me right to Sand... Saaaand... something."

Oh, Dang.

I figured I'd survive remembering at least part of the directions and that things would run fairly smoothly.

Here's the problem.

Apparently, you can't turn left on Monte "something" and there are two different 45th streets, one is 45th Ave and the other is 45th St. I still couldn't remember if I was supposed to turn right or left on 45th so even if I did find the right one I'd be stuck.

Sadly I didn't even know if I was heading North, South, East or West (where are mountains when you need them! [Utah reference]) and Sand "something" was still nowhere to be found.

Needless to say, I was incredibly lost. Two or three times I was tempted to stop and ask for directions but I thought the runny nose, puffy eyes and hyperventilated breathing would scare whoever I asked away.

I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father thought he needed to intervene because somehow I ended up on Sand Point, which just happened to be the Sand "something" I was supposed to be on, and I was able to find my way home from there.

Here's a math equation for you...

Driving in a big city + pregnancy brain - a GPS or compass = one lost mama :)

Also, we bought our nursery furniture today! Cutting it close? Yes, yes we are.

Happy Monday!

34 weeks today!

That means only six weeks left. 

In reality, we only have three weeks until she's considered full term and able to safely come at any time.

Do you realize how short that is? Because we sure do!

That's only three more date nights.

Three more weekends, just the two of us.

Three more weeks of sleeping uninterrupted through the night...not including my midnight bathroom runs 

:) You get the idea. 

If you ask this mama though, baby girl is going to take her sweet, sweet time. I imagine she's going to choose to be fashionably late to the party, at least she is if she's anything like her ma and pop. 

For now, tardiness is fine with mom and dad because this is what her nursery looks like at the moment

Hmmm... where's that urge to nest when you need it?